


When All Else Fails, Try KFC

by HappyHCartoons



Category: South Park
Genre: Eric is a good dad, Family, Family Fluff, M/M, Married Life, Parent AU, Parenthood, his baby girl is just like him oh no, they have three kids good lord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 10:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11484726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyHCartoons/pseuds/HappyHCartoons
Summary: Eric can't get his baby to eat the lovely baby food she needs, so he comes up with a plan when Kyle brings home KFC.





	When All Else Fails, Try KFC

**Author's Note:**

> I just love writing cute parent fluff shit okay

“Okay, open wide. Here comes whatever the fuck this is!” 

The tiny chubby baby opened her mouth, waiting for what her daddy was feeding her. When she took the baby food into her own mouth, her face went sour. Little Joanna didn't want to eat such terrible tasting food and spat it out on her high chair table. Eric grabbed his hair in frustration, not being able to find the one thing his little girl would actually eat. 

“Joanna, you have to eat this. You can't go fucking hungry. Come on, eat this for daddy.” 

The chubby baby turned her head away, denying another spoonful of the slimy, orange goop. 

Eric's eye twitched, slamming the glass jar down on the table along with the spoon. He picked up Joanna gently, sitting her in his lap. 

“Why won't you eat that? I know it tastes disgusting, but you have to.” He sighed, bringing her close to his face. 

The tiny infant smiled at him, wanting her daddy's attention more than her food. She placed a tiny pudgy hand on her father's rounded cheek, giggling in the process. 

“You are the cutest little shit and my favorite girl ever, but you need to eat.” Eric tried his hardest not to smile at the small brunette in his lap, “Daddy's a lot stronger than you think.” he stood up, holding the tiny girl in tow, and grabbed her baby food as he walked over to plop down on the living room couch. Holding her in one hand, spoon in the other, he tried his hardest to get the baby to eat just one measly spoonful of the substance, knowing Kyle will lecture him about it later that night if we wasn’t successful.

“Okay, seriously. You gotta eat this. Daddy's not happy now.” 

Joanna started to become fussy, her giant blue eyes started to water, pouting as her face turned red. She whined loudly, pushing the spoon away from her. 

“Joanna, I swear to Christ-”

Before he could finish his sentence, the front door opened, revealing Kyle and their six year old daughter, Eva, carrying a bucket of KFC chicken and numerous sides. 

“It's about goddamn time, Kyle!”

Kyle whipped his head up to see Eric fighting with their six month old girl, who was nearly crying. 

“What's going on?” Kyle asked, as Eva ran off to put their dinner on their kitchen table. 

“This adorable child won't eat the fucking food I'm trying to give her. She keeps hitting my hand away and getting hella pissed at me for giving it to her.” He poured as Joanna looked off at her Papa, still standing in the doorway. 

“Well, did you try anything else? She's super picky.”

Kyle answered as he walked by the both of them to put the bucket of chicken on the table. 

“Yes, I tried the peas, the squash, the carrots, everything and she still won't fucking eat it.” 

“Cartman, just give it a chance. She knows that if she doesn't eat something, she'll have to eat it eventually. She hates going hungry.”

“I guess. I don't want her to go hungry, babe.”

Kyle grabbed plates and silverware from the cabinet and placed them on the table. 

“She's not going to. Just grab your dinner, I have to tell Abe dinner’s here.” Kyle rolled his eyes, placing a kiss on Eric's cheek and headed off upstairs to grab their son. 

As Kyle did so, Eric grabbed as much as he could. Kyle knew he'd be a total glutton so he ordered three extras of everything. Piling the mashed potatoes and gravy high atop his plate, burying the potato wedges underneath the brown, savory goodness of KFC gravy. Grabbing four pieces of chicken, and topping it off with a biscuit, he traveled back into the living room, where Joanna was quietly sitting in her daddy's spot. Eric placed his plate on the side table next to the couch, grabbing the standing TV tray next to the TV. he flipped it open, gently picking up Joanna to sit on his lap. Her tiny hands grabbed the edge of the tray, watching as her daddy bought his plate over to them. Her eyes widened at the sight of the weird food. The crunchy chicken smelled so delicious to her, the white fluffy potatoes and brown gravy caught her eye the most. Her wavy hair bounced happily as she tried to reach for it. Eric caught her little mischievousness, and smiled. He took his spoon, picking up a tiny spoonful, 

“You wanna try some of this? It's one of Daddy's favorite foods ever.” 

The little girl's mouth was wide open, taking in the spoonful of mashed potatoes and gravy. Her eyes lit up, and she bounced, enjoying the taste and texture of the soft food. She squealed happily, looking up at her father with wide, gleeful eyes. 

Eric made a smirk, suddenly thinking of an idea that just might work to feed her. 

“Hey, Babe?” Eric called up the stairs, seeing Kyle and their eleven year old son, Abel, come down into the living room. 

“Yeah?” Kyle answered back rather quickly, trying not to fall down the stairs. 

“Could you watch Joanna for a second? I got an idea that might make her eat her dinner.”

“Um, alright.” Kyle agreed, taking hold of the chubby six month old. Joanna became immediately fussy, wanting her other father. 

Eric headed out into the kitchen, grabbing one of Joanna’s small baby bowls and placing a nice spoonful of mashed potatoes inside. Eric took hold of the baby food she didn't want to touch and placed just small spoonfuls inside. He mixed the two foods together, trying to hide the bitter taste of the carrot themed baby mush. He topped it off with some gravy, knowing that will blend the food together plus the gravy can hide any gross tastes underneath. 

Kyle was bouncing the poor girl in his arms, shushing her as he watched Eric prepare her dinner. Kyle felt his own stomach growl, knowing he had to eat soon. He could see what Eric was doing and found it to be a pretty smart move. Eric came back into the room about two minutes later with the small bowl in his hand. He put the bowl down on the TV tray and took the small baby from Kyle. 

“I could hear your stomach growling from in there. You can go eat now, I think I got it from here.” Eric gave Kyle a peck on the lips, and without hesitation, Kyle sped off to grab his dinner. 

Joanna started to look at her daddy with hopeful eyes again, glad to be back in his arms. She saw the potatoes her daddy gave her before, and immediately clapped her tiny hands. She was going to eat what her daddy loved too! Eric immediately took her spoon, and dipped it into her dish, scooping up a nice little pile of white savory goodness. It seemed so amazing to the young infant, and as Eric placed the spoon near her lips, she immediately placed it in her mouth. She didn't have the gravy last time, and it made her feel happier. 

Eric sighed, content that the baby didn't even notice her baby food mixed into her special dinner. She continued eating happily as her daddy ate his as well. When she ran out, however, she looked up at Eric, knowing she could get what she wanted if she pouted long enough. Her blue eyes pooled with tears, wanting more of the potatoes. Eric gave her a tiny bit more, not wanting to make her throw up when he had to burp her. 

As the two of them finished their dinner, Eric could see the small little child starting to grow sleepy. Her eyes fluttered, trying to stay awake as her father held her in his arms, leaning her against his stomach. His stomach was a pillow to her, since it was rather large and comfortable. She nestled her small head into his chest, trying her best to stay awake but ended up going to sleep just she placed her head on his heart. She fell asleep to the rhythm of her daddy's heartbeat. 

Eric smiled, running his large fingers through the small girl's hair, feeling her breath softly against his chest. The other two children had began to go upstairs to their bedrooms, waiting for their father's to tuck them in and wanting their goodnight hugs and kisses. 

Kyle waited in the kitchen walkway for Eric to get up, cradling the baby. 

“So I'm guessing that the potato thing worked?” He smirked, crossing his arms as he watched the two. 

_ “Worked like a charm.”  _


End file.
